


Breathe

by merdel11



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Amino Prompt, Angst, Blood, Blood and Injury, Character Death, Clovis has a panic attack, Gen, Hopeful Ending, I'm Sorry, Just Refrenced, Minor Character Death, Minor Violence, Nothing explicit, Pain, Panic Attacks, Post-War, Prompt Fic, The Author Regrets Nothing, angsty vent, clovis angst, clovis needs a hug, everything i write turns into an angsty vent, for the HBA, its all past violence, post war with gaea, same thing i guess, slash mentioned, vent - Freeform, yeah...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 17:40:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21673963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merdel11/pseuds/merdel11
Summary: The war didn't just affect the main characters, but others too.(Clovis whump, panic attack, minor violence (past), mentions of blood, mentioned minor character death. Check tags if you want for more info)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, everyone! I don't remember the last time I posted, but it has definitely awhile. Sorry for that (；′⌒`)
> 
> Over the last few months (I honestly have no clue how long), me and a few other people have been working on creating a group on the Half-Blood Amino. It's based off of a different group that we used to be in but died, so we decided to revive it! Our first official blog was published yesterday and this was my contribution to it. Through a poll, the theme Secondary Characters was decided. Everyone chose the character they wanted to do, and I chose our one and only sleepy boy. 
> 
> http://aminoapps.com/p/xrq5mc <-- here's the link if you want to check out other people's work too!
> 
> Anyways, I worked really hard on this piece. I haven't actually written a proper panic attack before, besides sort of Up In Flames (https://archiveofourown.org/works/20522882), but I don't think that totally applies, so I hope this is accurate. I haven't personally experienced a bad one before, so I only have a limited knowledge of them. If there are any inaccuracies, feel free to tell me in the comments so I can fix them in my future writing. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy! <3

** Breathe **

Clovis wasn’t at all prepared for battle when Travis had barged into his cabin near noon yesterday. Usually, he was able to have some sense at what was going on. Usually he was able know what had happened to lead up to this point. Usually he was able to see more perspectives than just his own. Usually his sleeping powers granted him the information that he so desperately needed. He should have known that the Romans were coming with armed forces. He should have known that Gaea was gaining more power than she should be in control of. He should have known that a fight was nearing. And yet, with all that he usually had and what he should have known, _ Clovis wasn’t prepared. _

And yet, he must face the consequences anyway. 

Clovis sat on the porch of the infirmary. He wasn’t badly injured—only one unfortunate scrape to the arm when he was caught off guard—so he had decided that he could wait to be treated. There were much more fatal wounds behind the doors of where he sat. Some with major burns and some comatose, some with arrows sprouting out of varying parts of their bodies. _ Some dead, _ his mind supplied helpfully. Besides, it’s not like the injury was infected or anything. 

Clovis closed his eyes but instead of passing out like he would normally, the boy stayed awake, paying attention to the world around him for once. Metal clanged in the distance, probably either the Hephaestus Cabin working away or a sword spar in session. The smell of the woods, dirt and strawberries, traveled through the light breeze. Loud whispers floated through the air; no words distinguishable. The smell of tangy blood and disinfectant. . . Blood. Metallic blood everywhere, everywhere. The memories of the battlefield. Chaos surrounding him, the clashing of swords and the sound of screaming: in the distance, to the left, to the right. It was around him. It was surrounding him and oh, gods, screaming was right beside him. Someone was screaming and someone was on the ground next to him and blood, blood. Red and sticky and bright. Bleeding, there was someone bleeding and screaming. _ Dying. _

Clovis inhaled sharply, eyes snapping open. His eyes were damp, face flushed. Heart beating, beating, faster and faster without stop. Clovis couldn’t breathe. His airways were closing, collapsing like the fighter’s own. Life fading from their eyes; turning dark and barren. Chest shuttered one, two shaky breaths and then no more. _ All seen with his own bear eyes, doing nothing in the face of tragedy. _

The boy had to get up, do something, something, anything. Needed to prove that he could do something other than stand there motionless while someone was in need. Ah! Boy, boy. There was a boy over there lifting boxes out of a truck. Clovis didn’t care what the hell were in them, but the dark figure appeared to be needing help, so help he shall receive. 

Stumbling out of the wooden chair on shaky legs, Clovis staggered towards the truck. In an instant, Clovis’ lungs seemed to collapse on themselves. Shallow breaths were scarfed down, but no oxygen spread through the body. Clovis collapsed, vision darkening on the edges. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t breathe, _ he couldn’t breathe _. 

_ You deserve to feel this pain _ , a dark part of his mind whispered. _ You deserve to feel like you’re dying, suffocating, panicking. It’s what you get for not helping that demigod when you still could. It’s what they felt when that spear was stabbed into them and _you did nothing. 

Tears clouded Clovis’ eyes, the aching pain in his chest intensified—from lack of air or something much deeper, it was unclear—nails dug into his hands with a sharp sting, and wood scraped his bare knees. All went unnoticed to the constant pounding of his head. Eyes scrunched up in desperation, a last resort option to take away the pain and sorrow through his powers, but all Clovis could see was red. Red like the blood staining their T-shirt, red like the blood in their hair, red like the blood in the grass, red like the blood on their skin, red, red, red, blood, blood, blood. Red blood. 

Like a broken record, the mantra repeated over and over. Ceasing the words were impossible, but what he desired most. He just wanted it to stop. He didn’t want to feel so helpless, so useless. Come on. Just stop, stop, _ stop— _

SMACK! 

Clovis’ face flushed where the force had hit him, accompanied by the sting of a slap. It hurt, but the pain was muted, carded off to a different side of his brain where everything was muffled. Rain poured louder outside. A tsunami of things—emotions, words, commands, actions, Clovis didn’t know—crashed down onto his vulnerable body and he was left helpless in storm. Drowning. Water filing his lungs and waves bruising his body. The murmuring of words floated to his unhearing ears, but all sound waves were left to float. 

He wanted to breathe. He wanted to touch land. He wanted the pain in his chest to go away. He wanted it to stop. He wanted it all to stop. Just stop. Stop. Stop! 

“_ STOP!” _

For once, the chaos listened. The person talking fell silent. Swords stopped clanging, the screaming rang quiet, the blood stopped trickling. Silence. 

A vision shimmered into existence in front of his eyes. A man wearing a toga appeared, wings for ears and a presence that made his mind slow. One word was whispered. It seemed so starkly different to the ones that bounced around in his head. So much calmer and more peaceful. One not so much filled with terror. 

_ Breath__e. _

Water exited his lungs while oxygen filled it. The crashing waves turned into calm lapping at the shore. His feet touched the sand.

And breathe he did. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you everyone for reading! I really appreciate it and I hope you've enjoyed.
> 
> What did you think? Parts you liked or parts in the story that you think that could be improved? Any tips for the future? Don't hesitate to tell me in the comments! I always accept constructive criticism and wish to improve, so if you have any, feel free to share!
> 
> I think that's all for today! Don't forget to check out my Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/merdel11/) for updates on future works and art. Kudos are very much appreciated! (p≧w≦q)


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